jan 18 2023 - some small updates
It's been a couple weeks. I haven't really been up to anything, though.
It went well at AYA. People were really sweet to me. I'm really shy and really anxious, so I expected (and tried) to just stand alone in a corner watching people, but people there went out of their way to include me. I wouldn't have included myself, and I really appreciate it. It let me meet a lot of very lovely people. I think Riley is going tonight for craft night, which they're very excited for.
It was just a wonderful time, and a wonderful space. I've never dressed as myself with other people in person before, and I felt really safe there.
In other news, last night I redid this site's theme. The old theme was okay, but didn't really have the look I wanted anymore. I really like this one, though--I think it looks very soft. And I love the new header font, I just think the little heart "O"s are cute :)
jan 3 2023 - going to as you are
Today I’m going to the as you are lounge in DC. It’s a queer bar/cafe, and tonight—Tuesday—is trans night.
I’m nervous. My headmate went last week and I’m scared of people recognizing me and thinking I’m feyr. I look different enough, but I’m worried.
I’m scared of making people mad at me.
I’m scared no one will like me.
I did my makeup on the metro, which went okay. I rode it by myself, dressed as myself, by myself, which is terrifying. I don’t pass, and I’m so obviously nervous. I can’t handle anyone making fun of me. I’m already so embarrassed.